Zombies Make Good Pets

     We thought we'd seen it all down here at the Holden News network. We've covered stories about exploding pumpkin, non-exploding pumpkins, and people getting lit on fire. However this is something strange. Last week, when the dead began rising from the grave devouring bystanders brains and the milatary arrived in Virginia and laid down heavy suppressive fire on the zombie menace only killing 23 bystanders we thought the zombies had been wiped out (sorry for lack of coverage. It was pretty boring, and you didn't miss much.).

     Appearently not.

     Now one ordinary man has actually tamed a zombie and taught him how to play Guitar Hero: On Tour (49.99 at your local retail stores. Ask store keepers for more information.)! The man, Joe M. Omma, found a stray zombie wandering down the street. Feeling sorry for the little guy, Joe went and fed it his sisters brains. The zombie became friends with Joe, and Joe's sisters life now sucks*. However Joe has discovered zombies are masters of video games. "He got 100% on through the fire and flames on expert AND on I don't want to stop! He rocks!!!!!" Joe is now considering breeding zombies and selling them to target. "They're like the ultimate cheat code........ he rocks!!!!!" He is currently selling domesticated zombies at "www.zideogamezombies.com**" for only $35. Go see it NOW!

*His sisters life sucks cause she doesn't have any brains left after the..... feeding (duh)

**Don't go to that website. Never tried but could be virus riden and make your head explode. Who knows.