We Aren't Dead Yet

As the name states we aren't dead. We aren't dead. Why aren't we dead? #@$%ing cavemen! They were wrong! Wrong, wrong, WRONG!!! Now HNN is being sued. We'll be lucky if we survive with our clothes on our backs. It's obvious the cavemen we're wrong, after all I wasn't trampled to death by mastadons and then struck by lightning bolts. And now were getting trampled with lawyers. We're being sued by big game hunters who stocked up on elephant guns. In other news the entire elephant population has been wiped out in Africa. The EPA is sueing the dicins out of us. Hey, the big game hunters that we convinced to buy lots of guns shot the elephants, not us! So I think the real man behind this plot is obvious. It's senetor John McCain, angry because we called him a mass murdering communist chimpmunk torturer! Conspiricy. So now I must utter you this. Vote for Obama. Ya... that's right, vote for Obama. Now, I'm not using cavemen to plug in my political opinions, that'd be silly. Still... CONSPIRICY!

One hour after this article was writen the writer was poisoned. But by WHO?! Stay tuned...