Micheal Jackson returns to thrill children

As many of you know (with the exeption of our readers who live in caves, whom we respect in every manner) Micheal Jackson died at sometime during the last month from a cardiac arrest. Micheal Jackson was born in 1958 and died at sometime this year, 2009. Micheal was a niceish person with a flamboyant personality. He really loved the children of the world and was obsessed with sour cream. He would often dive into his private sour cream pool to bath in it and woul demeerge looking like an albino clown. Many people mistook this for him changing the color of his skin. Due to this many people thought Micheal was weird. To those who believe this, please shut the &@#$ up and get on with your pathetic lives.

When Jackson was only 40 (or something like that. Hell if I know.) he went of to Albania to teach the children to stop crawling under the pressure of oppression and instead dance without any clothes on for uncle Jackie. Jackson went around the world, teaching children this simple philosophy. However in America, the sue happy capital of the United States, he got sued like hell for this. In protest Jackson did as Van Gough did and tried to chop off his ear. However, he had sour cream in his eye’s from the morning dip and accidently lopped his ear off. It happens.

In despair Jackson retreated into his home for many years. He still helped the children of the world however. Many times you could hear cries of pleasure from the children coming from Jacksons bedroom. Sometimes you could hear children crying in the bedroom but Jackson would comfort them saying: “It’ll be over soon. All you have to be is strong and endure for a little longer. I love you.” Micheal didn’t just help the children because he felt that he had to but because he enjoyed it. Sometimes you could hear Jackson screaming in delight from his bedroom too.

Jackson however died due to cardiac arrest (see paragraph 1). Craved fans came from all over the world. Some were shouting, crying, cheering, laughing, making love, praying, hoping, and smiling. One emotion seemed to run strong. They wanted they’re idle back.

Some went much too far.

In the dead of night a group of five fanatical Jackson fans, known as the Jackson 5, decided to bring him back using black voodoo magic. First, they burned an effigy of Bush and screamed, “Death to America!” Next they used some strange powders in the ritual (these powders and many others are available at www.hnn.com/other/shop) and finally they burned the &$%#@’s of five little boys.

Jackson opened his eyes and began to dance. What followed next was pandemonium. Hundreds of zombies boogied towards a preschool led by in/famous Micheal Jackson. Jackson had returned and he hungered for little boys.

The army arrived has arrived but they haven’t been able to do much as thousands of Jackson fans are making a human wall to defend Jackson. I have my pistol with me at the time and am trying to do all I can to help. But no matter how many Jackson fans I shoot down, two more seem to appear.

I’ll get back to you in a couple days/months or whatever. For now this is HNN signing out.