John McCain Is A Mass Murderer

A few days ago a woman who was talking to John McCain asked him a pressing question. She said, "My son and husband both served in the military, and now they still both wear they're flag buttons. Why aren't you?" Instead of using the always correct anwer, screw you, he stood there in silence. Sometimes silence is the worst sound in the world to be making. This raises serious questions: why DOESN'T John McCain were a flag button. Flag buttons are one of the easiest ways to say, "I'm American and proud of it.", with the exeption of playing drinking games and throwing up on your girl friends shoe. There is a group that has no patriotism in our country: the communists. SInce McCain refuses to show any partiotism towards his country by wearing a simple button it shows that he's a right wing communist. But that's not all. We conducted research and we found that no mass murder captured was wearing a flag button at the time. Coincidence? I think not my good friends. John McCain is obviously a mass murderer who likes torturering chimpmunks. So there you have it, according to our various tests John McCain, a man who might be our next president, is a mass murdering communist chimpmunk torturer. You can hear Abe Lincoln stirrin is his sleep on this one. Stay tuned.

Mail Time

Dear HNN,

     Today I read your story about John McCain and thought it was really funny.

     Singed,

          Funny Bone

To Funny Bone,

     SCREW YOU!!! Oh, sorry, force of habit. Thanks for saying you thought it was funny but it's not. Some mass murdering communist chimpmunk torturer is out there trying to be a president. Uncle Sam wants you... to not vote for mass murdering communist chipmunk torturers.

     Singed,

          HNN