Horses Are Meat Eaters

Nine days ago, at the Happy Sunshine Ranch, there was a blood bath. Police came here to find a class of 30 fourth graders were bruttaly murdered. Further investigation revealed that every thing there was dead... exept for horses, which were covered in blood. DNA evidence shows that it wasn't the horses blood on one of the horses, but Mrs. Gregory, the fourth grade bus driver. Scientists then went on a survey around the county and made a startling discovery: at over 90% of all ranches or farms that carry horses had animals in adjacent pens to the horse go missing. Local veterinatians shot and killed the horses that devoured thirty fourth graders and were surprised to find that the horses had teeth that could slide out of of their "plant eating" teeth. We don't know what this means for horses, but we do know that this explains what happened to horse rider, Juvon VoGosh, last year. We will be posting what to do with your blood-sucking horse beasts soon. Stay tuned.

Drunken Hunters Claim They Shot Bigfoot

Eight days ago a group of incredebly drunken dilerius insane smoking hunters claim that they shot bigfoot. After two days of vicious hangover the hunters showed people the body of the eleged bigfoot. However after three days of careful studying and DNA tests doctors have determined that the hunters were stuiped and should, and I quote, "jump off a cliff." Then for two more days later doctors found that the body found was just a man wearing a brown fur coat and hadn't shaved.... ever. The hunters say that they got the wrong body. However bullets were found in the man that matched the guns the hunters were using. The hunters have been locked in jail until the authorities have finished combing the woods.