Violence: In Case You Didn't Know, It Hurts People

We've done a test on violence. We here at HNN hired ten people to buy baseball bats and raid a bar. After the ensuing madness and the appearance of the Dark Lord we conducted a survey with those who didn't have their souls ripped out of their bodies and discovered that being hit, whether it be fist or baseball bat, can hurt you.

We weren't convinced.

So we set out to discover the truth behind this. Lance, a free lance photographer, was bum rushed by five of our accountents armed with crowbars. We attempted to interview his corpse but it didn't respond to our questions. We were getting no where. Frustrated I hit my head in annoyance. It hurt. My head hurt when I hit it. So I hit myself all over and found that no matter where I was hit I was hurt.

After Dr. Albenhoff was done cutting Lances body open we peered in to try and find the cause of pain. Albenhoff pointed to nerve clusters across the skin. We had a source. But why hurt others in the first place? It was so obvious! Violence! You only hurt others when you are feeling violent, like the accountents we hired to murder Lance for food. Thus the root of pain is violence.

But what if you trip and fall and hurt yourself. Obviosly the ground was angry about you stepping on its face. Fall on a pit of spikes? Gravity and spikes have a join opperation going on and they're both known to have humans. It's very easy to make them angry.

In conclusion, if you walk on the ground and make the ground angry by stepping on its face you will die. If you breath in the wrong air and the air becomes angry it will kill you. If you are affected by gravity and it has a mean streak you will die. If you are in space and the nothingness of it all doesn't like you not breathing in it's nothing you will die. How do you avoid making inanimate objects angry? You don't. You just die.